GAY!

“Gay.” I said evenly, having been slightly disappointed upon viewing my initial hand draw in a game of Magic the Gathering. In this instance I was referring to my drawn cards as being worthless, stupid and rather unlucky. To use modern slang, it “sucked.” Some people may be outraged by my use of the word, but unfortunately many will not, and in this case did not, even notice its use in a room of about fifteen people.  “Gay” did not always carry these connotations. In fact, it was originally used to indicate something was joyful, happy, or merry and Merriam-Webster’s first listed definition of the word even today is “happily excited: Merry.” According to the Online Etymology Dictionary its first use was in the 14^th century as “full of joy, merry; light-hearted, carefree” and by the 1890’s it had a sense of promiscuity but uses of it indicating immorality date back to the 1630’s. It was not until the 1940’s that it came to reference homosexuality (Merriam-Webster’s 4b definition is “of, relating to, or used by homosexuals”). Today more and more people seem to be using the word to indicate that something is stupid, disliked or somehow negative(despite this definition not being in any dictionary), commonly used in the phrase “that’s so gay.” I have personally overheard the phrase in casual conversation used to indicate that something was stupid, or less than expected and the phrase “that’s so gay” is the “single most common put-down” heard in middle and high schools.¹

How did it become, relatively recently, that gay is equated to negative, or stupid things. I hold the belief that sexuality is a matter of arbitrary preference and I honestly do not care about the sexual choices of other people (the choice versus genetics debate is beyond the scope of this post but I would point out that even if sexuality is a conscious choice, that choice is simply a preference of homosexuality, heterosexuality or anything in between). One could never prove one type of sexuality to be superior, you could rationalize and give reasons for your choice, but at heart it would be a matter of opinion. I do not consciously think of gay people as being stupid, less than, or somehow negative. The truth is until recent revelations in a certain Sociology course I had never given any thought to my use of the word, it was just a casual remark. Even now, being acutely aware of its implications, I still catch myself using the word, it’s almost reflexive. If I harbor no belief that gay people are stupid, less than or any other prejudice why did I choose “gay” to express my discontent knowing it really means something different. Some would say I used the word because I am inarticulate and/or stupid, or maybe I really am just a closet bigot? Instead, I would argue that it is due to the underlying social constructions of society. That is the mainstream belief that homosexuality is somehow inferior to heterosexuality, or that there is something inherently or morally wrong about homosexuality. This all stems from the social adherence to a hegemonic masculinity, or the belief that there is a singular and superior way of being a man, and this is the model against all men are measured.² Characteristics of this “man” include assertiveness, unemotional, rationale, white and straight.³ According to Kimmel and Maher there is a “central connection between gender nonconformity and homosexuality.”⁴ That is to be gay is to remove your manhood. This results in not the fear of gay people, but the fear heterosexuals have of being misperceived as gay, and by the standard of hegemonic masculinity, an inadequate man. Unfortunately then, many boys and men distance themselves from this perception through gay bullying, a mild form of which is saying “that’s so gay.”⁵ By associating things you deem stupid, or lesser with “gay” you indicate to others that you do not like anything “gay” and are therefore surely not gay yourself. After used enough times the word in its new context takes on a new meaning.

This word or phrase is mostly used by young heterosexual males, which is also who the phrase is often directed at and damaging. The phrase usually isn’t directed at people who actually are known to be gay, but it hurts them as well. The consistent use of “gay” in a negative manner debases them as a human being and can make them feel less than a legitimate person. As such there seems to be a campaign to reclaim the word “gay,” or at least to stop using the word in its negative connotations. This can be seen in the commercial circulated by GLSEN and Ad Council a while ago featuring Wanda Sykes.



It is true that, lessening the use of such phrases will weaken stereo types and the prejudice associated with them as it forces people to think about what they are saying, and then hopefully realize it’s wrong⁶. This concept helps, but it is not enough. The negative use of the word “gay” is a symptom, not the source of the problem. The problem is the current paradigm of hegemonic masculinity. This singular view of how to be accepted as a man, and belief that other ways are less adequate, reinforces and recreates such language and stereotypes. As long as people subscribe to the idea that masculinity is exclusive to homosexuality, and more importantly the extreme value we as society place in masculinity, social pressure will create new words and new harassments. If you want to stop prejudice you have to change the paradigm, not just change semantics. Word Count:940

1,4, 5. Kimmel, Michael and Mathew Mahler. “What Triggers School Shootings?” Readings in Deviant Behavior. Ed. Alex Thio, Thomas Calhoun, Addrain Conyers. Boston, MA: Hanson 2010. 76-81. Print.

2,3. Williams, Meredith. Washington State University. WSU Vancouver Campus, VMMC Building, Vancouver, WA. 23 Feb 2012. Lecture.

6. abbyjean. “The Transcontinental Disability Choir: What is AbleistLanguage and Why Should You Care?” Bitchmagazine. Bitchmedia, 11 Nov. 2009.Web. 20 Feb. 2012